Monday 8 September 2008

Quitting smoking

I've been recently entertaining the idea that I have been smoking for just over a year since I had last quit for a few months. I have been again reading about ways and tips to help stop. Things that I have read and re-read. To be honnest of all the things I have tried a combination of hypnosis and increase in cardio-vascular activity helps the most.
Cold turkey I think is for people with a more stable - and stubborn - personality than mine. I am too prone to just forget anything, spill the milk container and 'just let the good times roll'. Too immature, I know, but it helps to come to terms with it rather than be deceited. Guilty! I do like a good glass (if not bottle) of wine, and lots of vodka when I go clubbing. This goes hand in hand with cigarette smoking...
One way that has helped me in the past is become obsessed with it. Instead of not thinking about it, thinking about it ALL the time helps. It helps in quiting but obsession is known to elevate depression levels... The good thing is that after so many guilts and quit attempts, my body rejects smoking, even the smell of smoke before 2pm. Of course last time I quit I had not gone out for about a year. Ok perhaps the weddings and christenings I could not avoid, but not clubbing, not bar hopping, nothing really fun. Fun in that sense.
Everytime I try to quit, I almost succeed until I go out partying - an activity which involves drinking (the reason I can not quit during holidays).
So I think the only thing I have not tried is to entirely stop drinking alcohol. This I have not tried in the past. Every expert in smoking cessation claims that we should not change the way we leave. BS if you ask me. It does not work that way. The moment the first drop of alcohol comes into the body the resistence threshold takes a free fall. Spending saturday nights without any alcohol or tobacco, that sounds like a bigger challenge than running/walking the marathon under 5 hours. And hooking up with people that don't smoke means that I have to make new friends as all my friends smoke. Or at least the friends I would like to go out with.
The truth is that I am feeling too weak - biologically I mean - lately and given the amount of workload both from the office but also from personal stuff, I think I have no other way to go. On the other hand, the reason why I have been feeling good is because I have been going out much more during the summer than last winter.
The reason why I am writing on this blog about it is because I think it will help to kind of keep a public journal about my smoking curve. We shall see.
At this moment, I am still obsessed by it, still unjustifiably too tired, but determined to step on that treadmill and determined not to light up today. Oh, BTW, I have an almost entire pack by the side of this laptop at this very moment as I type. I figure instead of trying to avoid any sight of it or being in places that people smoke, come to terms with the fact that I will always be surrounded by cigarettes, I just have to decide not to take the first puff.
For the moment it works. Let's see how it goes later in the week...I shall take every day at a time and I know that there will be better days and not so good days. Every day will be a separate effort. Every hour if you ask me...
Okidoki, off to the treadmill

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Zeta,
I am stunned. Absolutely amazing.
Go girl. Don't give up. Keep fighting to get rid of this monkey off your back. I am rooting for you

Zeta Zizou said...

Thank you. I knew you would cheer me up. I was afraid to write it in case I fail (again). To be honnest, at night is the hardest. But I shall resist. For tonight at least
I do hope I will keep it off. At least for some time..

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